Pure obsessed.

That's not what they think, it's what I think.

I wouldn't let them ungeneralize like that.

Normal hurts but it would be worse to lose

The meanings of words, no doubt.

I wonder, if I were to get more and more

Until I was fluent for real not like you,

And I could language-blend like

Them, stunningly literate and stuck in the system now,

If I could use every word I owned at once,

Do you think it would be enough to explain the truth?

Wondering who will know first. I can't do it without you; of course;

But will you know it and tell me, or can I

Somehow make all my contradicting theories

Melt into a coherent thing? I want to be able to.

But it's all too complicated and it's a crowding storm in my head

And what's better than victory is peace, so I want silence,

And the closest thing I have to silence is white noise.

So I turn the radio on and balance it between commercials

And meaningless lyrics, all about feelings and none about thoughts.

I listen to the blankness and slowly find the tunnel between

Seeing meaning and doubting it. I let obsessions combust and evaporate,

Delusions prove true and compulsions take me as the silence breaks through

And I let illusions rewrite possibly half-false reality.

And I let the slivers of incandescence hang about my shoulders,

And I let the knives stand still as time comes to a stop. And the relief floods in

And I'm free for a while...while the static takes the pain right out of my

Overdone and underestimated almost-surviving mind

Might insanity fail and the traitors win, no.

Because even though this peace comes from surrender

I'm still the way I used to be. So listen, unfortunate,

Listen. Your chance encounter was something of a trick of fate.

I was already losing touch when you found me.

I made as if I'd reconnected but only you knew I was drowning and full of flame.

I'm tired of playing the traitors game with you. Why don't you

Acknowledge it? I won't go so far as to say you are wrong to

Because you're always right on the important things.

But do you have an explanation? Just anything will do

To placate me so I won't need static for a little while

Because it's disconcerting to think that I could be put into a disintegrating category

If I told the wrong truths to the wrong person.

You know as well as anyone would that I can't so much

Tell right from wrong.