At school, on the streets, in public
You see a smile on my face as I enjoy the world
I love seeing my friends, and family
I love meeting the people who I've never met before
To share our experiences, our journeys, our everything
Then I get home with such joy, then fear, then loneliness
What the hell am I doing, I am worthless, a nobody
I haven't been able to do anything right
And no matter the people I smile at, day after day after day,
Like the burning sun becomes moon, they turn their backs the minute I leave
"Oh, you're such a nice person"- say my friends
"Can you help me with this?" - say the strangers
"Oh why thank you, of course I'll help" - say I,
But that momentary feeling of worth is all just a lie
Barefoot, in the stream, swimming just trying to stand
The stream is a river, no a flood!
And that is what I think as I cry the nights away
"Oh sorry for staying up so late, mom and dad, just had lots of homework"
But no, that homework isn't worth a thing when I don't believe in doing what I mean
That homework is simply the work I expend, getting pushed down by that river
Night after night after night
Only in the darkness, of the rising sun,
Do I find some respite, the poems keep me company
As my eyes turn red, stay red, the poems stay true to me
I write for what I hope I have inside
I hope I have a bit of self-worth worth saving
I hope I have some potential worth exploiting
I hope I can be something, someday
And if not, I believe I'll have my poems all the way
And if not, I'll have the memories of those nights
Who do I write for?
Anyone who listens, but above all
Me. Myself. And I.