Star Wonderer

When I was a little girl,

I snuck out at night.

Out through the side window and 

All the way out to the park behind the school.

Past all their cruel jokes.


When I finally felt reality slip away

I would spread out my arms and fall backwards

Into the grass that I couldn't see

but knew was there.

Like my mothers arms after a school day of misery.

It held me.


Eyes closed the universe would spill into my nose.

It would tickle my fingers

brush my lips.

I let the wind whisper secrets and mysteries

until they where flowing through my veins

Apart of me.

Seeping through the open seams of my body

until I could feel them rolling behind my closed lids.

When I couldn't hold it anymore I would open my eyes.


The secrets of the universe melting out of me,

Over my face,

Past my cheeks,

Getting caught in the my bedhead mess of hair.


Laying there,

I would let the wind dry the wet streaks across my face.

Staring out into the eternity that was the mystery of my being.

Because I was made of stars.

And none of their taunting could change that.


That every atom in my body had been reused over and over. 

Building blocks of time and space.

I was beautiful.

My body had floated among massive giants of gas and hydrogen.

It had played fusion with nitrogen.

And walked among infinity,

To the corners of reality,

Until it finally decided to take rest within me.

Awkward me

Stupid me


Ugly me.


But I was beautiful!

No matter what they said about my teeth being crooked

or my hair being stupid.

I was beautiful.


With the mystery of the world wrapped up around my 12 year old body

I would rise from the ground

Kiss my kin.

Touch the stars.

And walk back to my reality no longer alone

Stronger and more beautiful than ever before. 


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