I sit in this chair with its squeaky back

Drifting off on the desk

Waking up, lounging backwards

Squeak, ssqqquueeaaakkkk

 

You look at the class and tell no one to leave

No more squeaking you say

All I’m thinking is I’m not moving

I’m not leaving, but I’m not here

 

I am sitting here in this squeaky chair

Trying to listen but not

But at least my body is here

At least it showed up

 

I know the chairs aren’t your fault

But the lecture is

You go to slow and don’t even realize

When all of your students are falling asleep

 

When all of your students are distracted

Writing scholarship poems like me

Doing homework for physics

Letting their minds leave the room

 

I don’t know who the ideal teacher is

But I know you are not them

I know they would make me excited

Make me excited to learn

 

I know with them

This squeaky chair would be full

Full of a whole person

Body and mind

 

A whole person excited to be here

Excited like I was once told college is supposed to make you