Allow conscious awareness and the unconscious reactionary mind to walk hand in hand as friends so that when the shadows from past conditioning pull you down into a place of darkness and forgetfulness of your love nature, conscious awareness is there to extend a hand and pull you out of the hole.
When you fight against and reject the different aspects of yourself, you have no internal ally to pull you out and guide you back to your heart, as a result you stay stuck in cycles of self abandonment.
Be gentle with yourself, there are times when you are going to feel negative emotions and act them out, there may even be times when you are judgmental and unkind. It's not a failure, It's called being human, and no one is above that vulnerability... But you are also spirit and it is your spirit that holds the wisdom and the knowing that your human experience is the grist for the mill that is constantly polishing in order to reveal the diamond that is your divine soul.