A big word, a thrilling word, a costly word, a scary word.
There was a time when that word meant very little to me,
A vague term that had nothing to do with my life.
Now it draws ever closer,
Materializing out of the mists of ignorance
And into my field of vision,
And sometimes thoughts of my future -
Fears for what remains unknown -
But what if
I take that leap
I take a deep breath,
Jump off that ledge,
Somewhere I never could have imagined -
Better than I could have imagined?
I want stability,
I want security,
I want community,
I want joy.
I don’t know if that’s what I’m going to find when I get where I’m going -
But I have to trust I’ll find something good.
And I’d rather trip
And skin a knee or two
Than never to have jumped and all.
These are the words I say
The woman in the mirror
Who weeps, and writes, and hopes, and fears for her future.
“You will be okay;
You will be infinitely better