Thump thump

Thump thump

Thump thump

Gulp

 

I’m not excited

I didn’t miss her

Stop

 

Okay, I did

When you see someone everyday 

It’s natural to miss them when they’re gone

Arms wrapped around her

I don’t want to echo the gesture

 

I’m cold

I hate hugs

It would be weird if I did

Right?

 

What I wouldn’t do to know what her hugs feel like

 

Thump thump

Thump thump

Thump thump

Gulp

 

Keep your head straight

Keep your head up

Don’t lean into her lap

Stop

 

She’s so comfy

Her hands in my hair

So zen

 

I should sit straight

She must think it weird

But I have no thoughts 

So zen

 

Thump thump

Thump thump

Thump thump

Gulp

 

It’s all in my head

It must be

I shouldn’t have daydreams about her

But why is she so worried

What I wouldn’t do to comfort her

 

Arms wrapped tight around her

Why didn’t I hug her sooner

Everything stops

 

No bad

No frustrating

Just her

The dowser closes but I don’t care

Kiss her on the forehead

STOP

 

I can’t

I can’t

I can’t

 

That’s not how she thinks of me

We’re just friends

We have to work together

We can’t

 

Thump thump

Thump thump

Thump thump

Gulp

 

This isn’t happening

It’s not what I think

I’m dreaming

No

 

I’m living what I dreamed

Who knows how much time passes

There are no nerves 

There are no thoughts

There’s only comfort and ease

 

Thump thump

Thump thump

Thump thump

Gulp

 

The way she laughs

The way she smiles

The way her eyes sparkle in the sun

 

I’ve never felt so many butterflies as with her

What is tugging in my gut

I love her

 

Woah

What

No

It’s too soon

It’ll freak her out

She’s not ready to hear it

 

But that’s definitely it

 

I love her

 

Thump thump

Thump thump

Thump thump

Gulp

 

She’s got that same look on her face

The one that reveals she’s thinking

There’s something on her mind

She’s going to break up with me

 

“It’s hard”

 

Prepare

Conceal

Ready

 

“I know”

 

Breathe 

Relax

Let the smile break through

 

She loves me too

 

Thump thump

Thump thump

Thump thump

Gulp

 

I fall further in love with her

Every single day

I love hearing her voice

I love seeing her smile

I love learning new things

 

She keeps me grounded

She keeps me calm

She keeps me motivated

 

She keeps my heart

 

I love you.