Imagine that it is the middle of the night and you are lost in a dream. You notice a stranger in the distance approaching you, but your too frozen in fear to make the slightest of moves. Your mind is so caught up, that you believe that it is real and you wake up flooded with emotion.

your heart is pounding, legs shaking uncontrollably, and obviously shortness of breath.

 

Anxiety is a part of life they say,

You are told that everyone goes through it and everyone feels the same pain as you do,

Why should it be normal

Why should it be normal everynight haunted by your thoughts racing through your mind about how you aren’t good enough

How you can never talk to those people because they will hate you

And the thought of why are you still here? When everything feels like its crashing down around you.

 

Enough.

Enough.

What is enough ?

 

Is enough the feeling of your heart beating so fast that you feel like someone can hear that dreadful sound and will instantly shame you.

And you want to scream but you can’t because you don’t want to draw too much attention to yourself because if you do, you’ll never be looked at the same way again.

So you're trapped in a endless loop,

 

A loop that you put on yourself for feeling that you are not enough and will never be enough.

Like a bird, Struggling to fly, hes on the edge but every time it tries to soar, he backs down and gives up, in hopes of maybe attempting at it soon,

Even though in the truth it knows it never will.

 

The Rugged flashing images of a dark abyss overtaking you in hopes of a moment of quiet,

Only to realize the longest of lights and the overtaking noise screeching in your ears like sirens at a stadium.

 

All streaming from one traumatic place in the back of my mind that i dare not think about but am drawn to anyway.

 

Trying to distract myself  with long walks in the forest

Or the music constantly blasting on my phone to draw out the noises in my head

And the long overdue therapy sessions to find where I went Wrong.

 

Why do I view myself in such a negative light

I have many good memories and lots of good people in my life but it always goes back to listening to the noises in my head saying your not good enough and and that you will never be loved because you aren’t supposed to be loved.

 

Stop. Breathe.

Step back.

 

Stop letting the emotions that are bent up inside get a hold of you.

Change the What if’s that you have to when.

Change the I can’ts to i Wills

And Change the Negativity to your positivity

 

You deserve to be happy and to do better.

You deserve everything in your life and you deserve to make it happen.

 

So close the door,

Stop listening to the noises in your head because even when things seem most dark and you cannot compete with what you are telling yourself,

 

Remember how much you are worth and how much of an impact you are waiting to leave upon this world.