all the pain gets bottled up inside

soon, you will explode.

that is what I did, 

I exploded and it had consequenses. 

those consequenses where scars. 

the scars seem to disapear sometimes but,

once they start to go away I feel this deep urge to add to them.

it's like i cant "live" without them. 

but then again what is living if you arent actually alive?

I try everything I can to distract myself from these deep dark thoughts.

nothing seems to work

I try to sleep, 

but how could I sleep when the nightmares get too bad?

I try to eat, 

but how could I eat when my body wont keep anything down?

I try to draw,

But how could I draw when my hands shake?

I try to write,

But when i write the thoughts seem to get worse.

one day these thougths will end.

they will

either drive me insane

or kill me.

these thoughts seem to want more.

more MARKS

more BURNS

more SLITS

more PAIN

more SORROW

more DEPRESSION

and it just seems the more i fight it the worse it gets. 

maybe its time to stop fighting..... 

maybe those slits are worth adding........