When I see people,
I over-analyze all the possible outcomes that could happen.
"They look busy, I won't bother them"
"They have enough friends, why would they need one more?"
I have to prepare myself, repeat the words that are about to escape my mouth
Over and over again, until it is perfect.
Anything beyond that I freeze up and stay quiet until they walk away.
Sometimes I wish I had a shirt saying, "A sincere apology to all victims of my social awkwardness"
And hopefully then people will understand why I give one word answers
Or why I stay silent when I'm in a room with strangers.
Sometimes just stepping out of my comfort zone for a split second overwhelms me of anxiety that I have to step out of the room,
To give myself the chance to breathe and again analyze what actually happened.
This time, I'm putting myself out there....
"Hi, my name is Maria it's nice to meet you"