Simple Happiness
Location
I love to draw
The lines oozing out of my pen as it
Crawls across the paper
The thoughtlessness of circles
Circles
Circles
Circles
Over and over until the page is filled with mindless circles
When I draw circles the endless swirls
And curves keep my hands busy
So I don't think of thorny thoughts
Thoughts that don't make me happy
My pills
My classes
My dad
My mind is constantly running through mazes of consequences
Of one missed opportunity
If I should've waved to someone
If I should've held that door
If I should've said something
If I should've shut up
If I should've-
Circles
Circles
Circles
Tracing the imaginary bubbles that are landing on my page
The circles cover the thoughts- smother them
So they can't stem off of each other and push through my fortress of circles
Destroying my shelter
Becoming a thorny bush
A bush that pricks constantly
That makes my mind bleed
My heart drowns and sinks into my stomach
I have always wondered how it feels
To not have a constant waterfall
Or riptide tugging at your
Every thought
I have almost drowned multiple times in the
Circles
Circles
Circles
Of my own thoughts
The water is never still
The ocean is always roaring
I have never felt the
Calmness
Of the eye of the storm
I created
Even in my dreams
I am drowning
Drowning in the sound of his coughs
His lungs filling up with sickness
Drowning in the bright blue of the pills that keep me from being
The mass of pure sadness
I truly am
An empty shell
Drowning in the mountain of papers
I haven't finished
The teachers who are monotone
And unfeeling
Drowning in the amount of apathy
I am currently feeling
So my pen draws circles deep into the paper
Etching my feelings onto the whiteness of the page
Circles
Circles
Circles
Keep me calm
Keep me dry
And up high, high from the rip tides of my own mind
Circles keep me
Happy
Happy
Happy