Should Have Listened
Woke up one day and found myself 7 months pregnant
My body was in an awful amount of pain
It felt as if someone was draining it all away
I knew exactly who it was
I sit up and I look at the empty space beside me
I must have scared him off
Otherwise he would have stayed
Or at least offered to provide for me
My mom walks in
I can see the sadness in her eyes
The look of defeat as she sits next to me
“Don’t forget to take your folic acid pills” she says
The words feel so forced and painful
I nod and take the glass of water
I take the pills and place them in my mouth
She forces a smile as I drink the water and leaves
I look down at my bulging stomach
I can feel a kick coming from inside
I’m going to be a mom at 15
My life hasn’t even started
I was going to go to prom my senior year
I was going to go to college and be an engineer
I was going to do all that
But now I have to put pause and rewind
The movie of my life has to be remade
There’s no longer just me
There’s a whole other life I have to take care of
A whole other part of me that’s about to be born
I guess in the end
I should have been more careful
I’ve lost the freedom of my youth
The carefree manner in which I could have lived
None of that is possible anymore
All I can do now is pray that I’ll be okay
That I’ll pave the way for my future child
I guess I should have listened to my mother
She said “You’ll regret being a teenage mother”
“Shut up old broad” was all I said
I should have said no to him instead
Now I’m stuck on a tightrope without a safety net