She didn’t know

That I was swept away by all the tears of being a teen

 

Even though I was in my 20’s

 

She didn’t know 

That I ran away at 17 cuz I fell in love with a girl that was fucked up and broke me

 

She didn’t know

That one morning I woke up and saw a knife 

That my mom was pointing it at her wrist

That being a lesbian Christian was a life risk

She didn’t know

That my parents looked at me like a cockroach 

That I felt like I deserved every trial that approached

 

She didn’t know 

That every time I got close to a man

I look closely and watch his hands

I watch every movement he makes because I don’t know where he’ll land... and I am aware that men make mistakes

 

Well girls make mistakes

Boys will be boys they say

 

She didn’t know

That I woke up one day with bruises on my legs

She didn’t know 

That everyone assumed it was a drunken mistake

She didn’t know

That they found his seeds on me

That he sucked the life out of me

She didn’t know

That I called and recorded him

But it still lacked evidence

She didn’t know

 

She didn’t know 

But still she looked... and actually saw me

She didn’t know

But she still taught... and actually educated me

She didn’t know

But she saw the grades drop 

Around the same time of the year

That I was 19 looking down from a rooftop

She didn’t know

 

She didn’t know 

But she asked me what was wrong

She saw through my eyes that I could no longer be strong

She saw through my hate and my anger and my pain

But she saw in her class I had something to gain

 

She didn’t know

But she calmed me down

She said that life is rough but it can always turn around

She gave me a chance to redeem myself

To grab books upon a shelf and find my battleground

 

She didn’t know

That my stomach was twisted

It was up to my neck and my vision was clouded

That my eyes flooded like the ocean

But my sight was as clear as a canyon on a sunny day

She didn’t know that my sky was less grey

 

She didn’t know

That I am becoming a teacher

That one day I want to be her

She didn’t know

That the girl that felt neglected

Is one that will make others feel protected