she doesn't know but i know
“It’s not depression,” she assures me
on the phone as she worries to me about her boyfriend.
“It’s worse. It’s… consuming him.”
I want to tell her of how
she has no idea the depth of depression
just because some days she isn’t as confident as she used to be.
I want to tell her of how
she has no idea the depth of depression-
the way it can take over everything,
the way it can twist everything into something
that isn’t real, isn’t true,
the way depression weighs down on your back,
leaden weight which feels as if you will never escape,
could never possibly run from.
But I know.
I know
the way his world has changed,
the way his insecurities have taken over their relationship,
the way he fears that he isn’t enough,
though she has come to treasure him over her best friend.
She doesn’t know.
But I know.