Before She Came

Come here

They whisper of a re-entry

When all that has plagued you is left behind

and you are living in bliss tenfold than the sorrow you endured

In this mystical place

far from the World and her terrors

Under jungle trees you can smell a soft breeze

It carries hope, a feeling of seprateness

Like you are no longer a part of this World that seeks

so fondly to destroy you

And you are guarded by your decision

To be gone, to be away, to ignore

because at last you are free to ignore the pain and suffering

But there is always a day to return

That day of Re-entry

When you must brace yourself for impact

still praying to ignore that pain

but know that it will slam into you at any moment

I sang a song once, tears in my eyes

I was not the only one who sang it

I was not the only one who heard it

I was not the only one who loved it

But I seemed the only one who remembered it

Weeks of joy and friendship

torn away at a whisper

Re-entry

Rolling home on a bicycle built for one

constructed to hold the weight of worlds

Those days in the mountains

Swimming in March, pictures of flowers

the smell of fresh bread, the feel of sun on my skin

At last the sun on my skin

But here I sit, listening

To a soundtrack for ghosts and ghouls

leeching into my ears

I miss those days, so simple, so new

Seventh months is a long time

But what I can never come to terms with

what I can never forgive

What I can never understand

Is how the World, in her hatred and violence

found me there

The place where I was guarded against it all

She found me and brought me back

Kidnapped in the middle of the night

Confusion and anger and hate and panic

All gifts that She gave me

She packed them in my broken luggage and shipped me home

Re-entry

I never wanted to come back

And I burned up on re-entry

This poem is about: 
Me
Our world

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741