Scream. Scream his name over the top from the roofs.
Cry as hard as you can, because you will.
You will cry, for weeks, months, maybe years.
Depends on how much you loved him.
Try to remember how he held you in a different 
way then how you've been held by other people
before him.
Let a tear fall for that.
Write his name on a white piece of paper,
until you get a cramp in your hand.
Burn this paper after.
Can you feel, how the first few letters of his name are burning away?
can you feel how he's burning away from your life?
From your thoughts?
You and him will met in your dreams, which will feel as a nightmare.
But a kid of beautiful nightmare.
Because when you wake up, 
you'll wish you never woke up,
and could sleep forever with that dream.
You will crave for him in good and bad times.
You will whisper his name while having a panic attack.
And oh God, it will hurt so much.
You will feel like recovery won't be worth it if you don't have him in your life anymore.
You might feel suicidal.
But it all takes times.
And I'll promise you,
every tear, every pain, every crave, every nightmare, every whisper,
will be worth it for the person who will stay in your life forever