Sanity Through Poetry
When she was left, that’s when she first had a real taste of sugar
She’s had sugar before, but this time it was comforting to her
This time the sugar wasn’t some kind of thing that does some kind of killing,
But this time the sugar was something that filled the emptiness of losing
The emptiness of never seeing their face again
Two lines.
The emptiness of holding memories from you
Four lines.
The emptiness of attending your funeral
Wait, she needs more.
That’s the key word, needs.
She failed to realize the damage she had begun
But give her 3 years.
The fluctuating weight change
The dry, cut up mouth
The lack of food
The lack of sleep,
Not just for a day, but for days straight on end
This was nothing to that naive 15 year old
“I know how to take care of myself” She claimed, as she failed to realize everything she was doing to herself.
She couldn’t express herself, and that’s when poetry came into play.
At the time, it wasn’t poetry to her, but it was simply a ways of her to put her thoughts into the universe.
Poetry.
Poetry wasn’t a new word for this girl
But the definition of poetry was, after she was able to express herself through it
See, before poetry was a subject in English class which she was forced to learn about
Obviously there were rules that had to be followed right?
Like how a poem should look a certain way
Or how a poem should rhyme a certain way
Or how a poem should follow a certain scheme
but, this is not what poetry is truly about,
She learned that poetry was a significant part in her life, all the small little writings she had in her journal were poetry
She learned that the reason poetry is so influential in so many people’s lives is because it is an escape
Poetry serves as an art, an escape, and a way to express one’s inner thoughts
Poetry became a bigger part to this girl,
She sat in a hospital bed after having the sweet sugar that she loved so much
It came back negative and she was free to go
No way could she have her dad knowing his little girl consumes too much sugar
But of course she would write it down
Soon after her love for poetry grew, on her own terms
She began realizing the true dangers in her hobby while realizing she could put all her thoughts and feelings onto paper instead of suppressing them all
She continues to struggle on her own and 3 years later she quit because she could finally understand why she needed to suppress her feelings
She constantly struggles with staying clean but,
She quit.
She quit doing crystal meth, and best of all, she understood that the whole reason she fell into a bad habit was because she never received the help she needed after her mom passed away.
Through poetry she received that help by letting her feelings be known.