gun slinger like she
flowering, blossiming child of the cedar tree
i was -
concious, forming, melting, still converting
my sad stagnant, diluted raptured reveries.
my pre-teens consisted of stale ciggies and methamphetamines
i stood completely
immersed by the fleeting
feeling of lost hope and what i shouldn't have seen.
always far off from what i was known to be a public enemy
@ age 14
already a confused and languished entity
Done and Diminished, i was tossed to the breeze
damn. i stayed rollin and yet i was so sick
of those court hearings and the precinct
i remained a self destructive child
burger king pimps, lost bus tix and gettin wild
all the while
searching for my quick fix
while i slipped neath labels
should i succumb and exist,
under notions that i would never be or even close to perfect
but thats not what truly spilt this:
twas the perception of being wholly and fully forsaken
with false desire, optimism and expectations
from my reality
so in cuffs i be
conversing with the N.A cuz delinquincey
in at least one branch of my familys tree.
Same grove, Same soil, Same pesticide
same spoilt fruit drops
here beside Our feet.
and maybe like me, the answers never came so easily
you no longer found comfort in a single, simple, glowing bowl
they told you of- that self control
askin questions like " have you lost your innner vibe, have you lost your entire whole?"
as i once did. not knowing where to Go
have you found yourself groping in the dark, for a complete and beating home?
its Been Time to let go,
of all that self hate
all those toxic, twisiting ties w/ the undertow
well, who'd've known
that we were determined to break our own
and emerge victorious from those purple bleeding shadows
well contrary to popular belief
and yet again, perhaps our stories shall remain in sync
i was not saved by a Miracle Or An Epiphany
no choir sang as i emerged from underneath
no shining light,
no crowing glory
no bright BluE morning
Swarming, With Warnings
Accrding to the Coursing
Through Every Pore
and i found Myself Sorting
through Every Memory
I tried Ignoring.
let me tell you one thing
we hear tales of those who are strong and courageous,
celebrated with designated days
stories passed through the generations
but very seldom do we hear that being brave
does not occur over a course of a couple of days
it takes time to embrace
what we've been taught to hate
and it take energy, if you aint ready than thats more than o.k
i'd rather have you flourishing on your own hour and in your own way
and despite what they all say.
Outstanding and Incredible
Delirious they may call Us.
but they stay enamored by our stardust