there is a child inside of me

she likes to cry for no reason, with tears straight from the oil coated ocean

she pounds on the golden gates of heaven, even though she has been cast away many times before

as she falls through the sky, she weeps

the clouds do nothing to soften the blow

yet, she stands up again

and again and again and again

the little girl never knows when to sit down

she never knows when to quit

with bruises on her knees and elbows, i saw her stand upon trembling legs,

spit blood from her furious lips,

look Death in his determined eyes and say,

"try again."

for someone so prone to near death, 

she loves to play with matches

always letting the orange flames brush against her calloused fingertips

always swinging from the fractured rope

always standing on the crumbling ledge

she sits with the moon until its hanging by its final thread, and i hear her whisper like a prayer

"please don't leave me to the mercy of the day,

i am not so reckless in the light."

and when the sun rises in all its glory,

kingdom come, she closes her shattered eyes and tries to sleep

just to try and recreate the night once more,

ignoring the reckoning outside her window

this girl, who would burn her entire city if given the gasoline, slept through the second coming.

i can do nothing for her

she pushes everyone away, too afraid to let them follow her into the depths of midnight

too scared that they will follow in her monstrous, naive footsteps,

until she is all that is left, day to night

night to day

blue to black, she strikes her match just to see the light burn to nothing

ashes on her skin

with reckless abandon.