They said that recovery was an uphill battle -
I have never before trecked up a twisted slope for so long.
I figured my frustration and fear - of weight, of fat, of feeling bad -
Would slowly be shed as I hiked up the hilltop.
I openly exposed my demons and inner dimensions
As I fought for the right to be okay with not being okay.
It is all lies and happy-lust:
I have never been near the freedom I crave.
But all they see is a smile, a simple girl
Who isn't sabotaging the rest of her life,
One day at a time.