I am in a room full of people, bustling, busy as I sit in the back,
I look up from the dull dark gray desk, to my demise, and see you.
I looked down again and felt pierced as though by a tack,
I wish I had but some courage then I may try to talk, but this wouldn't happen I knew.
I am a coward, a sham, a weak one.
I had looked on for years, and dreamt of only saying hi,
I thought, "My chances are done."
I never had them to begin with, how did you capture this heart that is mine?
I dont remember when it happened, or even how so,
I wish I knew so that I could think it through and learn to forget you,
I only know that once you had hold, you didn't let go.
I wish that I didn't feel this way. I admit, I love you, its true.
You will never hear these words,
You wont even know who might have thought them.
You continue on your way, free as a bird,
You would in so, my true love condemn.
I want nothing from you, other than to be at your side
I want to make you happy, but alas, I only feel small when you are around.
I sit here in my own personal demise, as silence I abide,
I dont know which is better, should I continue loving, or should my love be drowned?
I wish it were so easily done,
I have tried to move on long ago.
I heard the bell pierce my thinking like a gun.
I saw you sit in the front and and sat in woe.
I needed to do something to get you out of my head,
I then thought of it, stupid, crazy, and painful to us both
I stood up slowly, my knees barely standing under my dread.
I needed to do this, I made myself a quick oath.
I raised my finger slowly as the class turned to see.
I was to far in now, all that was left was to do.
You turned finally and looked straight at me.
I almost cried, but I held back my tears, "I hate you!"
I yelled it loud and with angry dripping from my tongue.
You looked destroyed by my blatant lie.
I was surronded by students, some furious angry among.
You ran out of the room with tears in your eyes.
I did what I must, I can move on, and you won't have me to bother you.
You acted strange what did you care about what one random voice.
I couldn't have been important. Surely you didn't care, surely I didn't break through.
I am a room full of people, yet empty and void, and I wonder, "Did I make the right choice?"
I look down at my dull dark grey desk, and, to my demise, never see you again.