Random Force of Emotions (Lost Soul)

Sun, 03/03/2019 - 18:05 -- deSribe

It's funny how we all perceive ourselves
It's barely accurate and sometimes we deceive ourselves.
How do you see yourself?

Who the hell do you think you are?
You wanna raise the standards and
you wanna raise the bar?
You wanna make big money and
pull up in a fancy car?

Maybe I should ask myself the same thing.
These days my mind's wrapped up thinking randomly about many things
From problems to wedding rings
to wondering why the alarm rings.
From accomplishments to flaws
grateful I never ended up mopping floors.

Miscellaneous minds everywhere all around
some loud some don't make a sound.
Noises everywhere, I feel like loosing it
substances everywhere sometimes I feel like abusing it.

On fire - I'm feeling lit
In front of the crowd - I'm feeling the (hit) heat
So hungry - I'm feeling meaty
Strange desires - I'm feeding it
Computers - Always killing it
With all the blessing's around me
yet I still feel like I'm illicit.
(God damn!)

Somehow I still find a way to survive
I've gone a long way from working with sadness and playing with knives.
What's the meaning of life?
What's the purpose of existence?
What's the price for persistence?

All these years in search for the answers
Sorrows multiplying like cancer
May have ended in jail
Locked up if I had bypassed protocols to enter the mail

Never looked for trouble but I think it found me
"go ahead... go get wasted, I beseech thee"
That's what the voices in my head keep saying to me
I looked her (the voice) in the face and tried to say no
Never knew trees like big consequences were from tiny seeds like nano

Somehow I keep escaping the dungeon like a prison break
"maybe we should take a break... "
"let's wait for his soul to ache... "
(- the voices)

Forces of Resistance all around me
My mind became a stage for the Brownian Motion
Strange feelings, open meditations
Life isn't fair so I tried to bleach(mask) my emotions

Deep passions, shallow confidence
I've got great competence but with no evidence
The residence admire my diligence
but in-house they desire my deliquesce

After all this years I finally met the Infinite Intelligence
I ran to Him with all my sentiments and foolishness
My confidence - restored
My Vision - unblurred
My gifts - now available in stores
And all these and many more happened at the end
'cause the kid met who he was and a friend

I AM did it!

This poem is about: 
Me
My community
Our world

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