I was born in the state of California but raised in Virginia were my heart lies.
I am told that I need to be a practical person. To keep on dreaming but that I need to follow a goal which is reasonable. To follow wherever money comes fairly from and honestly from.
I’ve been told that I can’t do anything right and that I’m a spoiled good for nothing. I loved to feel the beautiful snow mixed in with the breeze as it blew against my skin. As each snow flake glided down and landed on my bare skin. The wind whistling in a hum, a song. A perfect melody of silent yet loud peace passing by my ears. A choir of instruments playing through my mind with a lullaby from my own voice; Filling me with warm and bliss.
I’ve felt a cold blade heating up as I held my anger and frustration tighter. An eighth grader lost in happiness and circumvention of the real emotions with inn. A tenth grader feeling all bad being released as the harsh and damaging words replayed in my mind. I’ve felt a dog, bird, and a Guinea pig making me feel like I had someone to cry one. A piano and paper always there to let me express all my sensibility that’s been locked up for so long.
I have seen many people get hurt. I have seen how they can’t get back up because it’s too much for them to handle. I have seen the week rise and seem as if nothing is wrong. I have seen the damaged heel with a gentle smile as a wet shimmery, and clear gold slid down my eyes. I have seen the ill act as if all they have is glory to live with and no such thing as regret. I have the once lost be found within someone news arm to be held captive by the heart. And I have seen the special remain full of glee despite their odds to prosper and all those who don’t have faith that they will achieve anything in life.
I remember feeling scared to live in a home where I could not lock my door. Hands that I felt were not good to be. Afraid of what may have been lurking within the darkness. The fake smile and the real smile that made my heart swell up. Being told I love you. You can always count me; sharing tears. I have heard the glorious sounds of music. It gives love, anger, peace, and misery all with a simple press of a key. Just take the first leap.
I used to want to want surround myself by people to feel a part of something real. But now, I don’t care for that. I want to be on my own and just do me right; no matter how scared I may get.
I’ve learned that emotions just blur up your sight of paths and cause you to lose track of what really matters. But that we as the living and part of something greater have to hold on to the promises our hearts make; and the all of what we have experienced to guide ourselves and others along the way that are one the same road towards the same gurney of patience.