I've learned what an inane life i live.
Nothing I have done is worth anything.

I sit here under this rain hoping it will cleanse away my sorrow but
every drop that hits my face just precedes to prove my folly.

I no longer feel happiness nor pain, anger nor regret.
I'm just left with this sense of despair. It swallows me whole,
gasping for air, a taste of bile in my mouth.

I want nothing more than to be done with this ephemeral life. I
want nothing nothing more than to wash this sorrow with torpor.
That everlasting sleep where dreams are evermore.

Sometimes, when the rain stops
I can see a little sunshine glistening through those dark clouds
like a crystal. The drops of rain turn into diamonds that feel cold
to the touch, covering the ground with its simplistic beauty.

Those moments of happiness let me believe there's hope in this
unforgiving world.

Then it becomes evanescent as a rainbow. I watch the sky waiting
then it starts and the rain comers again clouting my face; t turns to
tears as they plunge to the ground.