Does no still mean no if its accompanied by an "I dont"?
If it came out with a laugh dipped in liquor and exhilaration
But ended in a chuckle soaked in fear and discomfort?
Phone a friend to make sure I wasnt over reacting
Does no still mean no if its said by someone else?
A third party across the city?
Does it really count if the horse was too scared to open their mouth?
Is assult really assult if you flirted too much?
Lead him on?
Gave him the wrong impression?
Wore a lowcut skirt?
If he was a friend you've known for years?
Misplaced trust alongside a buzz
If you still have flashbacks everytime your throat burns?
If you have no physical scars to prove your case?
No police report holding your name?
Because it's been over a year and nothing really happened so why are you not over it yet?
If it had been serious wouldn't you have reported it.
Wouldn't you have told someone?
And when it does cross your lips it wouldn't be accompanied by a shrug
By a passing comment
Brushed under the rug as if it did not happen at all
In a country where victim-blaming is oh so prevalent
What would be the point of exposing my scars just so you could rub salt in them?
Just so you could dismiss them because there is no physical proof?
Just so you could debate my legitimacy and deface my character?
Just so you could lable me vulnerable
As if I wasnt already reminded of that
Every time a man looks at me too long
Every time I crave affection but remember the sting that can come with it
Every time I have to filter what I say because a flirtatious bluff could be misconstrued as something promised;
As something owed.
As if my body is just an object to be claimed and you always get what you want.
Afterall, this is a mans world.
How do I confess his sins without them sounding like my own?
How do I tell my father his nightmare is no longer only in his dreams?
How do I expose my secrets without revealing my shame?
I still retrace every step, every sip
Penalizing myself for every turn
Maybe if I had been more aware
Used less words
Worn a looser shirt
Maybe I could still be whole
Is it pathetic that I've adopted all responsibility?
Why waste my breath when it would've been handed to me anyways?
Afterall, as they say
Boys will always be boys
When will girls should learn to not get in their way?