My older brother's really good at being older. He's the kind of brown that girls write poems about. He's really only polite in public. His outfit goes nowhere wrinkled. He likes his chicken and waffles on the same plate but never in the same bite and he always answers the phone. I called my brother today.. just because I could and because he's still alive. this was my protest. this was how I fought the man for the man I love the most.. told the government about itself. This is how I overcame my fear of voicemail.. each unanswered ring permission to panic. Where is he? Is he okay? Is he missing? Would we find him? Would there be a rope around his neck when we did? Would the flames leave nothing behind but bones that could belong to anyone? Would we speak of what he looked like with his hands up? How his name rolled off the tongue like a hashtag? Would you know his police record but never his voice? I called my brother today… just because I could.. because I'm still alive. This was the most noise I could make. Yesterday, I marched in the street. The passes by were inconvenienced by the acknowledgment of the Dead. Where you got to be so quick you can't stop for a moment of silence? What have you done for 4 and 1 half hours that was like watching no one come for your child's body? How civil a Disobedience do you expect when black boys are buried and then put on trial? Yesterday, I held my fist in the air while the internet trolls asked why break the windows instead of why kill the black kid. Yesterday, I was an activist. Yesterday, I was a radical. Yesterday, I was ready to set this country on fire.. auction block by auction block. Today, I am just a little sister. Today, there was no more fight left in me meanwhile the streets are gagging on the flesh of the slaughtered. They do not chew with their mouths closed. There is nothing well-mannered about a buffet of black bodies. No hero behind a gunfire to keep the safe more safe. The police fear for their lives without reason. The top of the food chain has never been in danger but I know for a fact that they might kill my brother today just because he's black. because he's still alive. This is my most reasonable fear.