why is it that love is the thing that plays in my mind on repeat

how does this bipolar low attack my feelings

why do I try to hide it.

why am I ashamed of it.

 

It's because I hurt myself

but I also hurt others.

 

The words in my head attack my self esteem

the thoughts in my brain turn into words that repeat back to you.

 

the black silence of words writing faster in a swirling motion

it all fits in the back of my neck as it travels up my spine

it feeds through my ears until my eyes cry.

the pain of trying to erase those suicidal thoughts.

something that continues to repeat and repeat.

 

the danger has spoken

but my words have pushed people away

my mind tells me to struggle and I accept it

 

It's not until I am here writing that I feel like I have some control.

I feel like I can somewhat breathe.

I can adjust to my surroundings

I release some pain

some of those black words in my mind are being printed in front of your eyes.

-art