it wasn't even in my veins

but the elixir was felt in my body all the same

it made the world seem big

and i

small

afraid of Him coming home with the poison on His breath

every sound distorted until it became unrecognizable as the truth

never knowing what would happen when He opened that door

or drove that car

endless nights wondering when He would come home 

what could i do

i am only a child 

worrying turned into

panicking

panicking turned into a constant state of fear

trying to keep my world together

in this world that seems to not be my own

I finally took My eyes off of the pain

and looked over the horizon

a hand reaching out to Me

helping Me escape

giving Me the tools I need to seal My fate

providing Me with a hand to hold and a shoulder to cry on

a friend

I learned to dance

and prance

and now I dance with the stars amidst the night