Poem 8

Locations

80014
United States
39° 39' 47.3796" N, 104° 49' 40.6236" W
80014
United States
39° 39' 47.3796" N, 104° 49' 40.6236" W

i spent the first 5 years saying
hes so amazing
and
hes so sweet
hes so kind
and
hes so cute
and everyone smiled in applaud because i turned out just like they wanted. i fit their cookie cutter mold of a perfect person and then they moved on.
and when me and him broke up they patted my back and whispered encouraging words of
youll find a real man
and
he wasnt the one
but when they turned their backs i cried not from a broken heart but from a misplaced heart. i yearned for her finger tips and her lips against my lips but my family told me that the life of a gay is a life dammed to hell and so i spent my nights crying in confusion of
if this feels so amazingly right why is it so remarkably wrong
and then id move on and date another guy and they would smile in applaud because i hadnt turned into a muff diver or a carpet muncher and i shoveled food in my mouth over dinner and hid in the bathroom during church because every ounce of my existance feels so painfully wrong and the months would tick by and id leave him because i met a girl and she had beautiful hair and long legs and i loved her laugh and then id build up a love for her to throw into the next boy who loved my ass while i tried to comprehend what i felt
and then i met HER
and her eyes shown as bright as the sun while her skin glistened like the moon. her hair was a violet and her lips a violin that sang the sad song of thousands of miles but ill wait
because shes teaching me to say
shes so amazing
and
shes so sweet
shes so kind
and
shes so cute
and i dont care if they dont smile in applaud because when she smiles at me the whole room vanishes and its just us and if theyre judging us i dont even care
i dont care
im as free as a bird with their wings spread and im soaring in the sky of happiness and shes so perfect and ill never lose this natural high
when the miles close in and i finally get to close my hand around hers every confused moment is a clarity

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