It can be tough, just sitting there trapped in your thoughts. Yes, trapped.

You are stuck in a place you can't get out of,

locked away in a place far from here.

You pretend to be alive, but you know you don't want to be.

And while you're waiting for the perfect moment to end it all,

you're already dead. A dead soul in a body. Yes, you're trapped.

I say trapped because they scream in your mind,

they block out the rest of the world.

 

They say things like,

"How dare you call yourself pretty?"

"You don't deserve to be here."

"No wonder people can't stand you."

"You are a monster."

 

You keep battling with these thoughts,

these inner demons, that tell you what you think is the truth.

And you listen to them so much, that you become your own enemy.

The things you do make you think you're a criminal.

The words people say make you think you're worth nothing.

The way you look at yourself in the mirror make you think you're hideous.

 

I'm here to tell you that you've been blinded,

by lies straight from hell.

 

You say it would be better if you left.

That the sun would still shine,

and the stars would still twinkle.

That life would still go on, without you.

 

But you forget that the sun shines for you,

that the stars twinkle in response to your eyes.

That the end of your life might also be the end of someone's happiness.

The knife that cuts through someone's heart.

The unbearable pain that draws them away from all other hope.

 

I don't know your pain,

I don't know your story.

But I know how to find freedom

when it seems to not exist.

 

You do have a meaning, you do have a purpose.

There is a feeling under all that numbness.

 

The scars that outline your heart

are for a later time,

when you overcome this battle.

When you can throw your hands up in the air

and say "I won that war. I'm free."

 

You don't have to go,  not yet.

There's so much more in store for you.

This is a detour to a long journey, 

it's not a dead end.

 

And if you feel that there's no hope left, 

just look up to the sky.

You look that suffering straight in its ugly face,

and you tell it "Damn you."

Because that suffering is the one that doesn't belong here. 

You have every right to stay, so exercise your right.

You don't deserve to hold your peace forever.

             

                   -Emmanuelle Eugene

 

*For the millions of people that are thinking about taking their lives, and for the ones who could have been here today.

R.I.P.