Plastered Smiles

I have been taught to fake a smile, to fake a laugh, to fake a conversation

to fake me 

Holden Caulfield calls them phonies, 

I call them regulars.

Why must I conform completely to be accepted?

What does accepted even mean?

Why are the ones who raised me becoming the people I despise the most?

why do they lie at their collegues parties and college fairs?

why do they call me hun only outside of this house?

I am shouting "PUT YOUR PLASTERED SMILE AWAY"

But not a sound is heard

I am tired

I am exhasted

 

I am afraid they will find this document when I lose 

and judge and say my priveledged ass will never be good enough 

I am afraid if I win that the infamous plastereed smile will haunt me once more 

 

 

 

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