Personal Challenge

Why? Why me Lord? I always asked that same questions,
nothing more nothing less. I have a confession.
I am not happy.
 I am not, was not happy with myself and was not happy with my life.
Did not feel loved, and there was not a good roll model in sight.
Don’t get me wrong, I am blessed,
but just knowing the next moment I would become stressed would be my best bet.
I blamed my parents.
Thanks dad most of all for cheating on mom, as if abusing her wasn’t enough
Appreciate the little brother you gave me in the process and making things more tough
I had the pleasure of being the only child for a whole 2 years.
with you being my mother’s high school sweetheart that lead her to the usual.
lead her to create following mistakes with men that feelings weren’t mutual.
Forcing her to marry the best thing should could find and have a total of six children.
Now I have stepparents that made it very clear that I was not their child.
and you both gave those intruders that power which lead me to run wild.
not physically but mentally
both stepparents took advantage of the position which lead to violence and verbal abuse
my parents were too in love to listen, and other family members did not believe a child so what was the use.
it is truly sad to not feel like you are wanted anywhere.
those moments ruined my mental state of mind now I’m unstable and far from confident.
because I have only felt loved those first 2 years of my life and the other miserable 19 years were not well spent.
but now things are different
Let me not forget to mention. that currently it is brought to both of my parents attention.
that neither one of their soulmates are not what they are portraying to be.
their relationships are on the verge of ending
while I’m using my struggles to create my new beginnings.
Im not use to being stabled so I don’t get too attached to locations or even people.
now I do not just want my life to become a show, but more concern of  more sequels
Not use to having direct love, respect, and definitely not trust so do not roll dice with my heart.
My stepmother consumed most of my dad’s compliments and confidence from me.
 daddy’s little girl without the perks of being the.
I could have been just like you guys.
I could have let my experiences break me.
Yet, instead they made me.
Into the beautiful queen I know that I am today.
All I can do is thank God for allowing me to overcome a challenge so personal.
Now I can appreciate every part of who I am.

This poem is about: 
Me
My family
My community
Our world

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