Move

Please move

Write, dammit, write

Make words you dumb pen

Tell the people how I’m feeling

Tell them that my mind feels like it’s going to explode if I don’t say what I mean, but that I can never say it the way that I’m thinking

Say what I feel that needs to be said

Say how I hate drugs

Say how I love to listen to music

Say how I hate bullying

Say how I love having what I have now

Friendship

Family

Love

A car

Clothes

A mind that feels different from the rest of the worlds even though I want to fit in, but I enjoy not fitting in because I like knowing what I know

Because knowing what I know means nobody else knows it and it shows uniqueness

I want you to move and show people who I am

I spend so much time worrying about other people

I need you to show me me

Who am I?

Tell me you dumb pen

I don’t know who I am

Am I a good person?

I want to be good

Am I smart?

Because I feel dumb when it comes to simple things like answering a question, but I’d get so nervous and I don’t want to sound dumb so I stay silent which sounds much more dumb

Am I happy?

Happiness is an unnoticed goal that we all want to achieve and show off to others so we spread that happiness

The reason why you’re here is to say what I can’t say out loud because for me, writing down what I feel is better than saying it out loud because saying it out loud sounds dumb

Tell me that I can look at a girl for a couple of seconds and describe exactly what’s beautiful about her in 5 seconds

My mind goes through a pattern of beautiful girls

Face

Eyes

Hair

Clothes

Skin

Eyes again

Smile

Body

After I have it all, I can say what’s beautiful about them

“You’re eyes are a work of art by the beauty of nature that would be painted on the perfect canvas. That canvas would be the sun because the beauty that I see in your eyes is blindingly gorgeous.”

“The way you dress goes so perfectly with you because dresses are made for people and you can design any dress, but it takes real beauty to look great in that dress.”

“Your skin looks soft enough to cuddle with. I know that doesn't sound right, but I don't mean it like that. What I mean is that I want you in my arms to hold. To feel protected. I don't know who'd be protecting whom, but it’s feel right.”

I can’t say this out loud, pen

So you have to say it for me.

Tell how I hate my face.

I don't like how I look.

I’m ugly

But that doesn’t stop me from trying to tell someone hi

Because I want people to know who I am

Or at least who I can show off

The person that seems like he never has a bad day even if it’s his worst

The person that can’t stop smiling even though his face is hurting from smiling so much

He doesn’t want to seem rude so he smiles

He smiles almost as if the world is a peachy perfect place even though it always isn’t such a good place

But he feels like he needs to show off that living in the moment is a precious thing and that we all should live in it and he believes in it strong, but when he’s home, he lays in bed and asks, “Is living in the moment really worth it? Because it’ll stop mattering one day.”

Pen. I’m confused.

I don’t know if I’m happy or not

and I don’t know how it’s achieved

But I want to give it

So tell me, pen....

How do I give it?