Paper Tulip
Location
Not until I was 7 years old
Did one of my teachers
Finally realize
I couldn’t read,
Or at least not more
Than a few simple words,
Or figure out basic
Addition or subtraction
I was a child being left behind
In the public school system
Right as George W. Bush
Passed the act
Struggle
Seemed to become my new middle name,
Always placed in the slow track
Reading and math groups.
I almost got held back in grade two
Until I agreed to go to Score tutoring,
Which turned out to be more of a
Babysitting service than
Instruction.
My parents did not raise me
Nannies held my hand
Across the street
And I always tossed my homework
Into the recycling bin at home
Because frustration & tears
Would overtake me
When I stared at these assignments,
Befuddled and alone
In second grade, on mother’s day
All the moms came to class,
We sang them a beautiful tune,
Gave them paper flowers
We made the day before and then
Each mother & child
Took a photo together
Outside in the grass
I was the only kid
That took a picture with
My teacher,
Mrs. Reyes.
I guess it made sense,
She was the one who finally noticed
I couldn’t read or spell my name
Properly anyway
And I was the sole kid
Whose mother didn’t come
My hands plopped the orange pink
Paper tulip
Into Mrs. Reyes’ hands,
Her eyes shifting down to mine
As she simultaneously took a knee
To look at me
She said, “but Jacqueline,
This flower is for your mom.
Don’t you think you should give it
To her?”
Teeth sinking into lip,
With no seconds of doubt
I return, “She would probably
Lose it anyway.”
On my eighth birthday
My father forgot
How old I was turning
I’ve had to grow up
And take care of myself
For so long,
Maturity
Wasn’t a question.
Journals ran rampant with short stories,
Songs, and poems
At age 7
But I didn’t know it was poetry then,
Just a creative outlet
For a lost little girl
Revealing her to herself,
In honesty’s nesting grounds of language,
Trying to make sense
Of this bit of the world
She knew.
In retrospect I see,
My parents
Were always working
To be able to send me
To a University,
To fund my higher education
So I wouldn’t have to exhaust myself
Working full time through school
Like they did.
It’s funny how it can take so many years
To realize your parents’ intentions
So sure, I’ve got a funny family life,
And this isn’t even the half of it,
But who doesn’t?
Struggle
Waters the seed of growth
Waiting within each of us
At least I have people to call
Family
And I do know one thing,
They truly do love me.