The night finds the agony
It’s hard to explain the desperation
It starts out slow
A sudden rise in body temperature
A gasp for air
Panic ensues
Can you feel it?
My hands clench the sheets as my breath quickens
I try desperately to remember to slow down
Try to remember it’s okay
My legs start to shake
I can’t stop the tears in the corners of my eyes
My chest is heaving as the first one falls
Stop I plead, just stop
The stress overwhelms me
The seconds that tick by feel like hours
I want to cry for help but don’t want to be seen
My teeth are clamped shut
God I pray God!
I curl up tightly and breathe
In…out…in…out…
My hands slowly unclench
My breath returns to normal
I realize I’m drenched in sweat
…The next day I can’t stop the slight shaking…
…I’m naseaus…
Can you tell, do you care?
Do you see, do you even know?
The day sees the smile