I use this pen to release ink till I reach my inner peace

But it’s crazy ‘cause it used to confine me to its pages…

I’m in amazement cause my mind

Used to be in a maze when

Life presented me with questions that there are no answers to

Like why the hell I gotta see my mama be a martyr

For my family because of my abusive surrogate father

Bruises, contusions, bringing all this confusion

Sisters seeing too much gotta create an illusion

Tell everyone I’m ok and strong

But on the inside I’m imploding            

Explosions nervous convolutions

There’s too much responsibility in knowing

Ignorance is bliss so my life becomes hell

For how can I present an alternate story if I don’t know the origins?

So every bruise, every scream, every rolled up dollar bills with white remnants on it

I knew about

And all the happiness, my childhood innocence, and sometimes meals

I went without

Pent up emotions like the desires of a celibate priest

Could find no god and had already conversed with the beast

Pain as potent as the liquor I wished I could consume

Regretted my past life I was never going to resume

When you get to a point where all you can be is strong

Being happy and carefree just seems sorta wrong

So I kept a straight face, mind always pensive

Quick to get pissed and always defensive

I was the animal cornered into myself by the world

 Lashing out at those wanting to help because who could I really trust…

So I got angry….

Things become worse…

I got angrier…

There was no hope

I became ANGER

It manifested in my thoughts

It manifested in my presence

Manifested in my talk

I had no repentance..

Till that one day I snapped…

And did the craziest thing

My tears welled up

And my soul started to sing..

I let the anger melt with my tears..

Now everything could be alright

I was too busy being strong

I didn’t notice all I needed was one good cry…