I know.

You probably don’t but I’m in a million little pieces

Glued together with nail polish and eyeliner

People might think I’m pretty

I’m a little less than sane

I say that’s the best part of me whether or not it’s truth

But under my skin, acne scars and all

I have Borderline.

The one that’s like fire burning underneath your fucking feet every time you speak.

The one no one wants to deal with

The one you can’t be diagnosed for until you’re eighteen.

The one I have

 

I want to move away.

Leave this city

This country.

This universe.

Jump forward into the next one

If the Big Bounce theory happens to be right

 

I want to blossom like the Big Bang that never really happened

I want to make trillions or billions of little stars in this Rainbow Galaxy

I want to be there when no one else is

I want to be there when everyone else is.

I want to be there to see if maybe I’ll grow up then.

 

I love the color pink and the word “Lovely”

I love love

I love loving love.

But I don’t know what being in love feels like

Maybe I do

 

Sleep distracts me

So I don’t sometimes and I regret it in the morning

When it’s hard to coat my face in icing

When my eyes are puffy and dark.

When all I wanted to do was stay in reality

just

a little 

longer.