The old me vs. The new me

Brush my teeth, fix my hair, off to bed.

Wake up, brush my teeth, go to school, go to work.

Weekends wake up get dressed go to church.

The cycle repeats.

My ambition has seized, my drive has seized. Why do I wake up and cry?

Cry and drive,

Drive and cry.

Sleep and cry,

Days roll by.

Unappreciated is what I feel, towards me, myself and these thoughts that fill my head.

Its what hurts most that I have everything yet I feel like I need more.

Unexplainable urge to discover the purpose of this so-called life.

I guess this is what they mean when you hit your 20’s sadness and fries.

How could I feel so alone having people around me?

It just feels like no one can understand me.

I looked my best almost every day makeup done, I smiled for everyone.

Studied and stayed focus … I had to get my A’s.

Yearning for unanswered questions, what is the delay?

I spoke to god in my head asking all the when and how’s. I simply wasn't happy, what should I do now?


I wake up my car is upside down, I'm stuck inside. Yelling “Please let me out!”

In fact, there was no yelling. My pain is ten times three, I look down at my arm and deformities is what I see. I try not to close my eyes and for a minute I thought my sister and friend were dead. We just got hit by a drunk driver. Is this what I get?

This is more than a miracle.

How am I not dead?

How can so much noise be so quiet here in my head? I'm lifted up as if angels pulled me out.

I'm in a hospital bed almost paralyzed, cast on every single part.


They brush my teeth, comb my hair.

Here I am “alive.”

Is this what living is to me? I'd rather not reply

They change me, They drive me. Even feed me at my request.

Yet all ll I do is cry.

People visit me and question me. Here we go again, having to repeat my story really hurts my brain. Sleepless nights, depression high, meds are all I take.

Dreaming of just walking again is what remains engraved in my head.

How is it that at 22 I feel my life remain at pause.

Having to drop school and work, the pain is undenied.


Wake up, brush my teeth. Should I even do my hair?

Standing up hurts so much I still use my wheelchair.

Still, have to use a shower commode. Things are hard now but Its what I'm grateful for.

See this is what I needed. This was my wakeup call.

I was grateful every day but this just made me see it all.

I was living in sacrifice, going through all this physical and emotional pain.

Seeing all these doctors I guess they eased the pain.

But It's myself that I'm proud of because of the hard work it made me gain.

I gained strength, I gained courage, Learned to love me all over again.

We must be grateful for every day.

One thing might change it all but our attitude is what makes the day.


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