I grew up fast,

maybe too fast.

The summer of being nine:

I refused to play with my friends,

refused to go outside,

and only survived within the magical worlds in my books.

I didn't realize the change for years.

Last week I did realize.

My mom told me what she remembered,

"You were such a happy kid.

Then it all changed that summer you were nine.

Are you ok?

Did something happen?"

And that is when I realized,

I became an adult at age nine.

The pain began then.

I don't know why and maybe I never will,

but my greatest wish is to relive my young years.

To be able to have a childhood,

instead of being old beyond my years.