dearest little one,

the first time I

laughed after being sad

for so long, I jumped.

I had forgotten what

that sounded like, where

those vibrations come from.

 

I remember feeling guilt,

a sense of shame for

being so open like that,

like I should have had some kind

of respect or something,

like I was in mourning or something,

like all that love lost meant nothing

or something.

 

they say the problem with

people like us is that we

have so much love in our

hearts that it spills over

everything- it's messy and

chaotic and sometimes seems

like no one wants to love all that

back.

 

but my little one, remember

that love is always around the corner-

 

it wants all your messy and

chaotic and will love you

back, even after you sing

off tune in the car for

six hours straight

and steal the covers

midway through

the night. love will wake

you up in the morning and

call you something sweet, because

it knows you’re not a morning

person and still give you

ten more minutes in bed.

love remembers that

you drink coffee for all

meals of the day, so it makes

sure you are never without

a cup. love will be

your biggest supporter, your

most beloved friend,

and love will be there to remind

you after hearing your laugh:

 

“my starshine, my little

darling-I have been waiting for you

for a long time, waiting

for your laughter to shake the earth

again,

for your whole mighty heart

to love all the pieces of

yourself

again.

and I love you

everyday,

over and over and over

again. ”