Ode of dependency
You sit solemn,
sturdy and unmoved
by heavy crashing
of my violent
waves
churning and writhing
through cascades of rain,
yet you never falter
still
even as your own
stone infrastructure
crumbles into the mud.
I draw nearer to you
each time you sit by me,
your magnetic laugh
a birdcage for my every waking thought.
You sit
so close to me
yet so far away
your name sits
in my throat
every hour
every day
I wish you would stay
I wish I could sway
with your own manic chaos
and carry your burdens
but mine sits upon me
crushing my bones
and I sink
and I sink
into pits
in the ocean
canals of your name
and your voice
in my eyes
and my lungs
and my ears
even the silence
we sit through
grasping for words
for connection
it pierces my ceiling
at 3 am
and all I can do is
sit around
and choke down
my breath.
Your eyes are pitfalls
I dare not peer into
for fear I might never
return back
beside you
i sit in the fringes
my feet over the edge
looking up from that vast,
starry abyss
of you
my heartbeat punches
to the rhythm
of deafening music
my hands shake fiercely
to the melody
the tune
and the lyrics
white out my brain
but never enough
to cover over
the weeks and weeks
of only you.
shit.