You are my ocean.

Beautiful. Majestic. Soothing. Shimmery. 

Dangerous.

Yet, this is only my first glance. This only what I see.

… I want to know you. 

Leaving behind footprints of a sandy past, I straddle closer, taking you in with all of my senses.

I get my feet wet. An exhilarating thrill dances up and down my spine. It is something cold, something new, something I have never felt before. I look around, observing the sediments and small creatures with which you have decorated yourself with. I interact with you, attracted by your surface. And you teach me how to breathe. I inhale, I exhale. I familiarize myself to predict your every move.

And out of childish curiosity, I move in a little closer. 

My feet are still touching the ground. Yet I have submerged myself to my shoulders.  I feel your warmth. I feel weighed down. I have come to know your power. Sometimes you lash out with anger here and there, but I can always pick myself back up. It’s okay. I can forgive you because I am already in so deep, and I have worked so hard to make it this far. I accept your whimsical forces. I learn to work with you, not against you.

I try to float. 

I release all of my anchors: my anxieties, my worries, my fears, my hatred.

You teach me that I must relax. That I must remain calm, that I must be free.

I lay on my back. You show me the world; the sky, the clouds, the birds, the boats, airplanes, the trees, the shoreline — a completely new perspective. You offer me this journey, unselfishly. 

 I trust you.

And now my goal is to understand you. For, you can only trust what you can understand. 

So I plunge deeper. I sacrifice my lungs. I hold my breath with the full knowledge that the hourglass is already past the halfway mark. I hold my breath understanding that there is no turning back.

I want to believe that there is more underneath the surface.

And so I fall. Deeper and deeper, following a ray of sunlight into the abyss of your heart. I am surrounded by darkness. My friend.. you have been inflicted with so much darkness. Yet, the light still guides me. 

I encounter fondly faded memories, hopes, dreams and faith. Lots of faith.. swimming aimlessly, searching for a way to the surface. They are such fine, delicate beings. The epitome of uniqueness. I  try to lift them up and continue my exploration.

But I begin to feel lost. Lost inside of you. We have become one. I am starting to become more and more like you. 

I wander for a seemingly infinite chunk of time. I analyze the infiniteness of it all. I ponder the impossibility of even finding the greatest treasure of your soul. And I am right. It is impossible.  There is nothing to find. It is the journey itself that was the reward all along.  There is no buried treasure, for the gold exists in the beauty of my experience. For I have already understood you and accepted you in every single way. 

And with my revelation, my time is up.

 I suffocate with full consent. Not because I am helpless, but because I have traveled a journey which no one will ever have the chance to travel — not in the exact way that I have.  I praise myself for getting to know you.. your body of water, and all of its constituents. A body that has been feared of, and doubted. A body that has been taken for granted. 

But I could never treat you that way. 

And so I retire with you, my beloved ocean. 

Whom my love is as endless as you are.