Why am I so numb?

Should I cry...or rejoice?

I can decide or choose?

I love whom I love, but...

I can't find a place for me anywhere except by his side.

Time.

Has stopped for me.

Has stopped for my heart.

But everyone goes on,

Without fault.

 

Do I breathe my last or go on with everyone else?

Should I trust his heart is as true to me as mine is to him?

or

should I just accept my fate?

Shall I condemn myself to love someone who may already love another?

I want to serve him.

Protect him.

Allow him to succeed.

Help him conquer the world with his ideas.

 

Do I run?

Hide?

From reality. From my feelings for him. 

Someone who I may never see or hear.

Words are on my tongue. 

Three

Words

I long to say them. 

Outloud.

However, I know I cant.

Shouldn't.

I run through conversations in my mind.

Things I wish to say, express to him.

But when I go to say them...I can't.

Am I scared?

Am I scared of what you'll think of me?

What you'll say?

I don't know what to do, so here I'll remain.

In the silence, I surround myself in.

Alone.