I can’t remember how it feels to feel



I want to feel again.

Anger, sadness,

Even hatred.


I beg you,

If you’re up there,

Just let me feel something once more.

Just once is enough…


I know nothing will happen,

That I’m just screaming into a void.

Yet, I still try.


Chasing empty salvation.


Beggars can’t be choosers

But nobody’s even willing to give me a scrap.

It’s as if they can’t see me.


It’s like I don’t exist.

Because even though they can’t see the wind,

To them, it still exists.

Whether as a nice gift on a hot summer day

Or as a curse accompanying them through the freezing alleys.


And yet,

I don’t even feel jealous.

I just sit there,


And waiting.

Staring unblinkingly

As the clock ticks and the pendulum swings.

Well it shouldn’t matter, right?

The clock will eventually expire

And the pendulum will slow to a stop.

Maybe it’ll be a relief

When my gong stops sounding.


But then, I hear a sound.

It sounded like a word.

A very familiar word.

It’s on the tip of my tongue.


It’s my name...

I had almost forgotten it

Even though it’s the only thing I own.

I look up and see an angel.

Perhaps I’m dreaming-

She’s holding out her hand invitingly,

With a smile sweeter than sugar

And a mellow voice.

But I didn’t hesitate to take it

Because my mind no longer knew apprehension.


Her hand was solid

And warm.

It amazed me

Because I’d forgotten the warmth of a companion.

And the smile was for me

Even though others wouldn’t spare me a glance.

And for the first time in this prison,

I felt something new.

I didn’t know what it’s called

And it was fleeting,

But it was there.

And it whispered to me,

“Hope comes when the hopeless let it in.”

The invisible glass cage then shattered

Just as a tear rolled down my face.

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