This is not a test.

Location

THIS. IS. NOT. A. TEST.

I repeat,

THIS IS NOT. A TEST.


 

this is not a test of intelligence, memory, or education.

Our school systems are built on the test of compliance:

how many tardies do you have? How many tests did you ace? How many homework assignments did you completed? How many notes did you take?

Education systems are not built on education.

We are measured by test scores and piles of papers, turned into numbers so we can be filed easier.

We are tested by how well we complied with the lies that were told to us from the robot behind the desk that once had dreams of teaching children things that actually mattered in life,

instead of numbers.

 

Numbers,

everything is numbers,

everyone is numbers.

How much funding a school gets, how old is this student, what grade are they in, GPA, IQ, HSPT, ACT, SAT, tardies, power school, class rank,  how much your lunch costs, everything!

You’re either a dollar sign or a number,

and even in private school you’re still a number of how much money you make, how much money your parents donate to the school, how much tuition you pay, how much your car costs, how much your shoes cost, everyone is a number.

 

This is not a test of accuracy,

but rather how well you force yourself into these cookie cutter shapes we’ve made for you, tricking you into feeling individualized, when

Look, there’s 1,000 people in line behind you.

Being taught how to be just like you.

You’re not original.

 

This is a test of popularity,

and how well you don’t deal with pressure in parties and society.

taking a drink from the advertisement bottle that made your lips quiver with desire,

and now you’re addicted to an image.

You’re fucking fake, spineless.

You can’t stand up for yourself and you don’t know what you believe in, oh but

you’re popular alright.

As if that matters.

 

We are armies built and trained to believe that if you have the “right friends, right clothes, right school, right reputation” that you’ll succeed.

And we have knives pointed at each other as if there is a wrong kind of human being.

Being taught about illegal aliens as if the person standing next to you has not enough merit as a person merely by existing.

Because. not. all of us. mean something.

 

Not all of us are special snowflakes manufactured by our parents, peers, schools, and media, just to be

Advertised like were originally invented,

When we are all just old ideas, themes, and shit balled up into a new and shiny package.

Don't change the price tag, just put a new face on it.

 

Kids are the future,

No!

Kids are the now.

We cannot.be ignored until we have our rights.

We will not be denied our lives simply because we can't vote yet, but we are still born.

We live in an awkward in between stage that everyone writes off as hormones,

and replacement therapy doesn’t work as well as it seems because instead of replacing the bad with the good they try to replace my identity.

They’re trying to take something away from me that I haven’t even found yet.

 

Help me,

I’ve lost myself in the masses of masochism and self deprecation.

People tell me I’m a good person, but when asked what I’m good at I say nothing.

I’ve been taught how to be successful, but never how to believe I am.

I’ve been ignored by my teachers, murdered by my peers, bastardized by my parents.

I have destroyed myself trying to find the answers to the test I was told would determine the rest of my life.

 

I wish I would’ve failed it instead.


 

Comments

Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741