If i was to answer "how are you doing lately?" 

truthfully

then you'd feel awkward and annoyed

so i write out my real answer

with whole honesty~

busy- school feels like too much and yet its so short

the farms give me joy but i wish to sleep in

lonely- i sit in my seat and the kids roll in

finding a seat behind or in front

on the ohter side of the row

leaving me to sit by myself

they say i'm nice and would never

say or do anything mean

but they treat me as if im not even there

sure, it means i dont have to talk to anyone

but i'll see you all day, what difference does it make

to be nice back to me?

happy- i love to sit down, hugged on all side by the kids

who are getting bigger but wish to jump on my lap

i love to be around mack, while he begs for mints

looking for more food.

alone- i don't fit in and i know im called to stand out

but i dont do that either

im just invisible

to my classmates

my family

my "mentors"

no one as time for me, too busy with their own life to 

actually help me with my mental and life problems

but the more i think that

the more slefish it sounds

to want help

to want someone to talk to

so i sit here typing to a world that will probably never see this

welcomed then shut out- I spoke too quietly and they asked me

to be louder

so i did

but they never rooted for me

and the looks on their faces

said everything i need to know

so i stay quiet

because once i begin to fit in

they dont like what i say

and shut me out

forget my name

who i am

and pretend i only exist when they want me to

when they need the homework

or the answer

i dont know how to end this story

so if you want to find me  turn on

the sunshine