Am I happy? Or do I pretend... do I put up with bullshit because I really want to, or because I’m used to it ? Do I know what I want versus what I need? What is it that I really want... life is hard. But your decisions make it even harder. What do I do ? Idk honestly I don’t. I want to just feel at peace. I want to genuinely smile and mean it. I want to hold my best friends hand and know everything’s going to be okay. I want to kiss my little sister goodnight. I want to play the sport that’s got me through everything I’ve ever been through. I want to live, and enjoy life. I want to feel alive. I want to be able to control my feelings. I want to be what they call “normal”