There is a girl inside of me

That wants to be all she can be.

The parts that I give permission 

For you to see

Are filtered oh so heavily.


Behind the Walden, the Hudson, the X-Pro II,

There's a young student, perhaps like you.

She's tired, but hopeful, 

And when she thinks she's through,

She holds her head high, for she has work to do.


She started reading when she was three;

Reads bell hooks and Poe religiously.

She was one day diagnosed with anxiety,

And though she runs and laughs and writes

She is not free.


I can't even tell you

How much I used to be proud

(So, so, so proud)

My declaration would be loud

When I announced 

That I'd taken off my makeup

That covered my face like a shroud.


I would upload evidence to Instagram

Do you know how many likes I can

Get in just an hour span

of saying I'm not wearing makeup?


And sweetheart, I will have you know

If I don't use a filter?  I'll make a huge show

About how it's lovely, and no one will know

That a simple hashtag caused my confidence to grow.


But I do wonder, why do I care?

Would you judge me if I had a flyaway hair?

Or knew that I spend quite a fair

Amount of time getting the angle right.


Because behind the camera, my tears all run

While I plead silently, notifications will come

Right?  It's just two taps, with your right thumb

Before you scroll right to the next one.


Need to talk?

If you ever need help or support, we trust CrisisTextline.org for people dealing with depression. Text HOME to 741741