Near'd the stop, no way home,

No that's not the right way to go. Go here,

Turn there, it's time to stop

Imaginging like you're already there.

Can't pretend to be okay, can't be okay so

I'm not.

Maybe in the future, I will be, but it

Seems doubtful the way things go.

Near'd the heart, not too close,

Can't get closer without causing damage.

Damage I can't undo. Damage I don't want.

It hurts. It's not okay, even more than before,

Yet what can I do?

Can't get it right. Right? Maybe

There's another way. Maybe I'm just missing the point.

Maybe not.

No matter. I don't matter. They say I do,

But I know better. It'd be better if they

Never knew me. Never got hurt. Never hurt

Me. Yet what can I say?

Nothing right. Only wrong.

All I get right is the hurt. I hurt.

They hurt. It's all I do well.

Nothing's enough. Nothing's good. There is none

Good under the sun. I will live

Until I die, and that sooner than some

May think, for I don't know how long

I can go on like this.

My life may change in a moment,

In the blink of an eye,

If my Savior comes for me soon.

But until that day, I await saving.

Is it abuse? Am I okay?

Is everything fine? I overthink.

I over-emotion. I don't get it right enough.

Maybe it is fine, and I'm just not okay,

I didn't get the memo.

But maybe, just maybe,

I'm right. What would that change?

Nothing. It still goes on. The noise.

The never good enough noise.

The never get it right noise.

The never be enough noise.

The noise that tells me how it is,

How I'll always be, and how I've always

Truly been, without knowing it.

A monster? Maybe. I never meant to be.

Never wanted to, but here I am. The noise

Tells me I am. I imagine better,

But it's not reality, is it?

Can it be? No, it's doubtful.

Yet when I try to figure it out,

All I hear is the noise.

The rumbling, bustling, you're-not-good-

Enough noise. And it will never

Go away. I surely wish it would.

But what can I say?

Nothing above the noise.