How does it feel?
How does it feel to be so close?
To be so near the end?

People who ask these questions
Truly are the ignorant.

How does it feel?
Lonely.

To know that four years
Of this finite life have been
Wasted in a place where
No one will remember my name.

Four years that I followed rules,
Succeeded in being "above average,"
And for what?
No recognition.
No one will remember my name.

How does it feel to be so close?
So near the end?
Empty.

I'm not near the end.
The last four years have been a
Preview of the never-ending Pain
That is life.

How does it feel?
Hollow.

Non-existent relationships with
People who will never be completely
Sure I existed at all.

Conversations I've had multiple times
Because no one cares to remember the
Answers I provide to their questions.
No one will remember my name.

How does it feel?
Despairing.

To know that I can't change their
Memory, know I'll be forgotten, that
Her name, like mine, will cease to
Spark any recognition in their minds, any.

But when they ask,
How does it feel?
I respond "wonderful," "great," "exciting."
And they continue on.
Content to forget my response, my name,
And perhaps ask again at a later date.

At my funeral, if people remeber to come,
They'll say I loved life,
Loved people,
Never had a bad thing to say.
All lies.
The truth will never be told, and
Even if it was no one would remember.

Afterwards my grave will go unvisted,
Save for the occaisional groundskeeper
Passing carelessly over, and
No one will remember my name.